Sir Trevor: "Oops, I let myself in, old girl, but I bet it wasn't one of my brightest ideas."
Lady Marjorie: "You horny devil, proclaiming yourself my lover and now I find you in the bed of this lady. Now I understand why you needed a rest every two nights. You have been two-timing us, you cad."
*Victoria, who isn't too pleased herself, scoops up all his clothes in one go and throws them out of the porthole. Enter Gwendolyn, seeing the still naked Sir Trevor, who smiles unashamed like the satyr that he is.*
Gwendolyn: *aside, to the audience* "Oh, dear, and to think that I might have given my precious maidenhood to this devil - it just makes me shake all over!"
*Victoria throws a robe at Sir Trevor, all pink trimmed with ostrich features and tells him to go at once.*
Lady Marjorie: *takes the matching slippers* "I think you just forgot something, sir!" *throws them at this retreating back. All women look at each other, red in the face, not knowing what to say, when suddenly they burst out laughing untill they cry*
Lady Marjorie: *gasping for air, hiccups* "And he wasn't even that good at it!"
*This sets off another burst of renewed laughter*
Victoria: "No, some are much better at this game."
*All women nod at each other in agreement and speak at the same time*
*All three pause, looking at one another in silent astonishment for several seconds beore lauging uproariously once again*
Victoria: "That cigar always was more impressive than he was..." *stopping herself and turning to Lady Marjorie with a sly grin* "My dear Marjorie, did you just say that you've had the pleasure of knowing the very upright Major Dundee? What a scandalous thing - I love it! You simply must kiss-and-tell, you know!"
Lady Marjorie: "Ah, yes, and he certainly was 'upright,' I can assure you, girls!" *she winks at Victoria, while Gwendolyn covers her mouth and giggles, blushing at such a bawdy exchange by the two older women.* "But you do realize, of course, that we must all share our little exploits with each other, if I am to share mine, for anything less would seem cheap and dirty somehow. Are we all agreed?"
Victoria: "Oh, you are absolutely right, of course - and I, for one, am never cheap." *she lets the realization that she did not include 'dirty' in her comment sink in* "Count me in."
*The two older women turn inquiringly to Gwendolyn, who is still standing with her hand over her mouth, looking very much like a deer caught in the headlights of some oncoming automobile.*
Lady Marjorie: "Well then, what will it be, Gwendolyn? Can your sensitive young ears stand the tawdry tales of two lusty old biddies? Or are you perhaps afraid that your own tale might put us to shame?"
Gwendolyn: *Pausing for a moment longer and then seeming to make up her mind* "Alright, I'm... I'm in, I suppose, though I couldn't go first! If you please, Lady Marjorie, would you begin? I'm finding it difficult to believe such a thing of the good Major... and where was his wife during this whole affair?"
*Lady Marjorie, with her mind is made up, has a twinkle in her eyes that suggests to the two other women that she is going to enjoy herself telling her story*
Lady Marjorie: *Well it was one of those nights I had this secret rendez-vous with Sir Trevor, it was in the beginning of the voyage and things were still in that exciting phase when you turn all wet just thinking about him. Sorry Gwenny, now that we are going to confess, I intend to hold nothing back, and you, my dear, are no innocent wallflower yourself apparently *winks at Gwenny and resumes*
"Great was my surprise, when entering in Trevor's cabin, that I found him playing cards with Archie. Not only were they playing, but they were also drinking solidly, and in their almost drunken state they made great fuss about my being there with them, in a positive sense I mean. Vinnie was having one of her eternal migraines and the Major had been complaining to Trevor, who liquored him up, and by the time I reached them they saw me as a real goddess of love and treated me like one. From one thing came another, and finally we ended up roleplaying one of the more daring scenes in one of my hottest novels, where the heroine is being made love to by the Sheik and the Prince in the desert in the same tent... and very much at the same time. Apparently Trevor had found this passage in one of my books in my cabin and insisted on reenacting it. I don't know why, but a most foolish feeling came over me that night, I said, 'what the heck' and played along. Good heavens, what a discovery I made, with Trevor being his usual average self - in stamina and size - but Archie... Archie was a god to my goddess. Finally Tevor dozed off and Archie and I kept at it, with more and more relish and creativity. Oh dear, this was a night I shall never forget. It happened only once, but I had this feeling once would last me a lifetime. Stupid Vinnie! Who needs complaining and migraines when she is married to such a stud! A pity, Archie could ask me anytime..." *Utters a big sigh, looks at Victoria expectantly*
"Well Vic, tell us what's up with you and our esteemed Captain Henderson?"